ChrisJohnna
Lee
Prof.
Nyland
ENG
101, (section 75A)
11/24/14
Practical Sexual
Education
Raising
teenagers can often be a confusing time for parents and teenagers alike. The
time for those dreadful talks about puberty and members of the opposite sex has
come along and you're not sure when it all started to happen. Having “the talk”
is awkward for both parents and teens but is an essential right-of-passage we
all face sooner or later. The most important thing you can do for your teen now
is to be informative and practical. Many parents dive right into the naive
abstinence only talks, yet forget about promoting safe sex because it’s
uncomfortable to talk about. Little do they realize, skipping out on the facts
behind “the birds and the bees” could have life altering ramifications such as
getting a STD or getting pregnant. A
teen who contracts a STD is often ridiculed if their peers find out and are
more likely to contract additional STD’s in the future. According to Family
First Aid, the CDC reports that “19 million new STD infections occur every
year… even more alarming, is that nearly 50 percent of these new cases happen
to young people between the ages of 15 and 24.” (p. 1) Having sex without
protection results in an extreme likelihood that a teen will get pregnant and
being a young parent is incredibly hard for everyone involved. If the teen is
fortunate enough to have supportive parents or come from a wealthy background
they may not face as many hardships as most teens would such as having to drop
out of school or being forced to rely on public assistance for things like
healthcare and food. While it is understandable parents want their children to
be safe and wait until the right time to have sex, they should become more
willing to teach their teenagers practical sexual education because it is
better they hear it from someone they trust and can rely on, abstinence only
isn't reliable, it reduces the risk of teen pregnancy, and it cuts down on the
spread of STDs in our youth.
Many
parents will never be ready to face the reality that their child is growing
into an adult and starting to think about adult things such as romance and sex.
There is certainly no ambiguity in the notion that teenagers should wait to
have sex but the “right time” is different for everyone. Many religions try to
enforce strict rules that sex is forbidden before marriage but the curiosity
from one’s mind and the natural urges from one’s body start to develop long
before the legal age to get married. Christianity in particular teaches that
sex before marriage is a sin and often times indoctrinates this theory into
young people’s minds to the point they are afraid to have their natural sexual
urges. In her article about waiting for marriage to have sex, Samantha Pugsley
points out how hard it can be to switch the mind from years of thinking that
sex is frowned upon and even banned, not even to be talked about, to getting
married and being encouraged to have sex with your husband/wife. When
discussing the psychological ramifications this had on her after getting
married she states “It controlled my identity for over a decade, landed me in
therapy, and left me a stranger in my own skin. I was so completely ashamed of
my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience.”
(4) If parents would take the time to talk to their teen about abstinence,
reiterating it is best to wait for marriage or the right partner, while still
taking the time to talk about the facts and possible consequences of having
sex, teenagers will be able to make a fully informed decision, potentially
encouraging them further to wait. Some people believe that providing teens with
birth control will encourage them to have premarital sex, essentially making it
seem like it is perfectly acceptable, but that is not the case. If a teen feels they are ready to have sex
they can become ingenuitive and find ways to obtain birth control without their
parents consent or knowledge. Parents can try to prevent teens from getting
condoms or the pill but they could easily go to the health department and get
it for free. They could also get it from a friend who gets it from their doctor
but is willing to sell it to make a profit. In this interactive age teens can
get all the information they need to know from the internet but getting the
information from a parent or someone they trust goes a long way in helping them
make a fully informed decision. Encouraging your teen to stay abstinent and
wait to have sex is agreed upon and is not the issue. An issue arises when the
teen makes a decision to have unprotected sex because they were never
encouraged to protect themselves.
One of the most important roles a parent can play in
their child’s life is to be someone they can confide in about any and
everything. A child should understand they are loved and will always be loved,
regardless of their potential actions. Talking about sex is uncomfortable for
both the parent and the child but when done right, its effects can be
everlasting. Most parents are not sure how to even start the conversation, let
alone have an effective one, but there are ways this can be done. Conversations
about love and relationships should start when a child is young so he/she
understands there is an open dialogue when it comes to important issues. If
questions are asked, simple but correct answers should be given and a child
should understand they, and their bodies, deserve to be respected by others. If
an open dialogue has been encouraged right from the beginning, a child is more
likely to confide in a parent when something important starts to happen. When a
child reaches middle school and starts asking more detailed questions,
straight-forward answers should be given as they are likely starting to mature
and puberty is around the corner. A pre-teen should be encouraged to set goals
for their future and informed how having sex could change those goals. By the
time a child reaches high school, it should be very clear to them exactly what
sex is and how it can affect both their current life and their future. They
should have guidance on what it means to be in a healthy and happy relationship
and should understand and respect their personal boundaries. At this stage, it
is vital a teen understands the various methods of birth control and how to
obtain them to reduce their risk of STDs and pregnancy.
Practical
sexual education can be taught to teens in a variety of ways but by far the
best way is through a discussion with a parent or someone they trust. There are currently organizations
and campaigns such as DoSomething.org and AmplifyYourVoice.org dedicated
specifically to educating children worldwide on the various contraceptive
methods. In Maryland, sexual education is touched on in elementary school which
is a fantastic program but it isn’t usually addressed in middle school when
children’s bodies are starting to develop and mature. Teens go to high school
and take a health class which is informative but by then some teens have
already had sex and most have already considered it. It is the responsibility
of parents and older individuals to come up with new and different ways to
educate teens and children about sex. One way to do this is through advertising
because it influences our lives daily via television, commercials, billboards,
and the internet. Since this new generation is considerably focused on social
media and communicating through the internet, one way to promote safe sex is to
partner with various social networks such as Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and
Twitter to advertise educational materials on sex and birth control. If our
nation can come together as a whole to promote safe sex, the risk of STDs and
pregnancy could possibly be greatly diminished.
Parents who believe their child will simply abstain
from sex because of religious or household repercussions are misguided. “Not my
child” is a saying most parents have said, or felt, at one time or another. The
fact is teens who want to have sex will do so without their parent’s consent or
knowledge. In her article “5 Reasons Teens Need Free Access to Contraception
(Just Ask the French)”, Judy Molland confirms “Teens are having sex, regardless
of what they are told; indeed thousands of them start having sex every year
without asking their parents.” (p. 13) Most teens have an inflated sense of
self and focus much of their energies on obtaining what they want in that
moment. Parents may try to tell their teen they are not allowed to have sex but
in much of the United States, including the state of Maryland, the legal age of
consent for sexual contact is 16. This makes abstinence a great idea in theory,
but when applied to real life situations, it falls short of being wholly
practical. All teens go through puberty and begin to have sexual desires,
regardless of their parents encouraging abstinence, not to mention the peer
pressure they will face every day from kids at school as well as their
significant others. Most people have heard the saying “everyone is doing it,
why shouldn’t I?” at some point during their young lives and it’s hard to feel
that social pressure and not give into it. At some point your child will be
making choices about sex, wouldn’t you rather your teen be thoroughly educated
and able to make a smart decision when the time comes? Educating your child
properly and practically about safe sex and the various methods of birth
control will not only assist them in making good choices, but it will also
greatly diminish their chances of getting pregnant in the future.
Providing
teens girls with knowledge of and access to birth control will significantly
reduce their chances of an unwanted pregnancy. WebMD informs us that statistics
show “Women take the pill by mouth to prevent pregnancy and, when taken
correctly, it is up to 99.9% effective.” (p. 2) Teens who feel they are unable to talk to their parents about sex
and birth control options will often not use any protection at all. Kids Health states that
“Approximately 750,000 teens become pregnant every year and most didn't plan on
becoming pregnant.” (p. 2) Parents often don’t realize teens have their own
means of acquiring birth control without parental consent. There are often low
cost and free clinics in most communities dedicated to women’s health. Teens
should feel comfortable discussing options with their parent but if they
absolutely cannot, they should know that there are other paths if they want to
handle it privately. The pregnancy rate among teens is so astronomical that the
Office of Adolescent Health informs readers that “almost one in six (17
percent) births to 15- to 19-year-olds were to females who already had one or
more babies.” (p. 2) A child having a child is sad and scary but a child having
more than one is down-right senseless. If a teen becomes pregnant, she is
unable to focus on the things that should be a priority in her life at the
time. When she should be getting ready for prom, she may be too big for a
dress, when she should be taking the SATs, she may have already dropped out of
high school, or when she should be going to football games, she may be forced
to be home with a fussy newborn. In recent years, teenage pregnancy has become
glamorized by popular television shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. Most
teens do not realize that raising a child is a lot harder than it looks on TV.
It is the parent’s responsibility to sit down with their teens and make sure
they know the realistic potential consequences of having unsafe sex.
Taking the time to talk with your teen about birth
control before they start to have sex is vital. A personal example of the
importance of easily accessible birth control is my existence. My mother,
Debbie, was 13 when she met someone and wanted to start having sex. She went to
her mother to talk about sex and gain access to birth control but was told she
was too young. While she was still a child to her parents, she had already gone
through puberty and was physically able to get pregnant. She chose to have sex
anyway and got pregnant at the age of 14. She could have chosen abortion or
adoption as options but she knew she made the decision to have sex without
protection and subsequently chose to take responsibility for her actions. It is
heart wrenching to think of a child having a child, but it could have been
avoided had her mother taken the time to talk to her about her options.
Safe sex is promoted in ads across the nation and
most local health clinics offer services for free, or at a significantly
reduced cost, but very few teens actually seek out these free or reduced
services in their communities simply because they aren’t aware they exist.
Condoms and birth control help protect teens against STDs. There are many
organizations and campaigns devoted to promoting safe sex for teens including
DoSomething.org which published an article “11 Facts About Teens and STIs”
which states “Young people age 15 to 24 account for 50 percent of all new STIs,
although they represent just 25 percent of the sexually experienced
population.” (p. 2) The fact that teens are just one quarter of the sexually
active population yet are most of the individuals getting STDs is shocking and
the only way it will ever change is if they learn to start protecting themselves.
Teens that learn to use condoms and birth control correctly have a higher
chance of continuing good habits in the future. It is easier to start a good
habit than it is to correct a bad one and the consequences of improper or
infrequent use could ultimately change their lives forever. The CDC states
that, “Consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can reduce (though not
eliminate) the risk of STD transmission.” (p. 1) Getting a STD can feel like a
life sentence, depending on the type contracted. Some can be easily treated, though may be
costly, and others may stay with you forever. According to the Office of
Adolescent Health “four in 10 sexually active teen girls have had an STD that
can cause infertility and even death.” (p. 1) The news of a newly contracted
STD should be shared with their most recent sexual partners and that could
easily ruin a teen’s reputation, but unfortunately not everyone is honest and
forthcoming about who they have been with. The simple act of explaining to your
teen the importance of condoms and birth control, as well as helping them know
how to acquire such things, is very important regardless of their sex. Condoms
are generally associated with boys so a lot of girls don’t learn until much
later in life that they are equally responsible to provide them. After all, one
hastily made decision in the absence of a condom could have life altering
effects. Life is hard enough on a teen with the pressure to do well and fit in
at school, it would be multiplied with the news of a STD.
Most parents cringe at the thought of their beloved
child becoming an adult and having sex, but the hard truth is, it's happening
whether they are ready or not. Parents should give their teens the right tools
to help them make an educated decision about sex when the time comes because it is
better they hear it from someone they trust and can rely on, abstinence only
isn't reliable, it reduces the risk of teen pregnancy, and it cuts down on the
spread of STDs in our youth. Promoting abstinence is enthusiastically
encouraged and should always be the forefront of a conversation about sex;
however, teens should also be informed of the options they have to protect
themselves. Teens should absolutely wait to have sex until they are older, more
mature, and in a committed relationship but if they do decide to make that
decision, it is best they understand sex fully and are armed with the necessary
protection against STDs and pregnancy. Think about the age you were when you first started having
sex. Were you prepared for all it entailed? A little practical and realistic
information goes a long way.
Works Cited
“About Birth Control.” Kids Health. Nemours, n.d. Web. 24 Nov.
2014
“Birth Control Pills - Types,
Effectiveness, and Side Effects of Birth Control Pills.” WebMD. WebMD, 24 Feb. 2014. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.
“Condoms and STDS: Fact Sheet for Public
Health Personnel.” Center for Disease
Control and Prevention. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 19 Mar.
2014. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.
“Did You Know?” US Department of Health and Human Services. US Department of Health
and Human Services, 4 April 2014. Web. 5 Nov. 2014.
“11 Facts About Teens and STIs.” Do Something. Do Something, 5 Mar. 2014.
Web. 11 Nov. 2014.
Molland, Judy. “5 Reasons Teens Need Free
Access to Contraception (Just Ask the French).” Care 2. Care 2, 30 May 2014. Web. 11 Nov. 2014.
Pugsley, Samantha. “It Happen to Me: I
Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t.” XO Jane. Say Media, n.d. Web. 19 Nov.
2014.
“STD Statistics.” Family First Aid. Troubled Teen Help for Teen Help Programs, n.d.
Web. 20 Nov. 2014.
“Trends in Teen Pregnancy and
Childbearing.” U.S. Department of Health
and Human Services. US Department of Health and Human Services, 4 April
2014. Web. 5 Nov. 2014.
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