Research Paper


ChrisJohnna Lee

Prof. Nyland

ENG 101, (section 75A)

11/24/14

Practical Sexual Education

Raising teenagers can often be a confusing time for parents and teenagers alike. The time for those dreadful talks about puberty and members of the opposite sex has come along and you're not sure when it all started to happen. Having “the talk” is awkward for both parents and teens but is an essential right-of-passage we all face sooner or later. The most important thing you can do for your teen now is to be informative and practical. Many parents dive right into the naive abstinence only talks, yet forget about promoting safe sex because it’s uncomfortable to talk about. Little do they realize, skipping out on the facts behind “the birds and the bees” could have life altering ramifications such as getting a STD or getting pregnant.  A teen who contracts a STD is often ridiculed if their peers find out and are more likely to contract additional STD’s in the future. According to Family First Aid, the CDC reports that “19 million new STD infections occur every year… even more alarming, is that nearly 50 percent of these new cases happen to young people between the ages of 15 and 24.” (p. 1) Having sex without protection results in an extreme likelihood that a teen will get pregnant and being a young parent is incredibly hard for everyone involved. If the teen is fortunate enough to have supportive parents or come from a wealthy background they may not face as many hardships as most teens would such as having to drop out of school or being forced to rely on public assistance for things like healthcare and food. While it is understandable parents want their children to be safe and wait until the right time to have sex, they should become more willing to teach their teenagers practical sexual education because it is better they hear it from someone they trust and can rely on, abstinence only isn't reliable, it reduces the risk of teen pregnancy, and it cuts down on the spread of STDs in our youth.

Many parents will never be ready to face the reality that their child is growing into an adult and starting to think about adult things such as romance and sex. There is certainly no ambiguity in the notion that teenagers should wait to have sex but the “right time” is different for everyone. Many religions try to enforce strict rules that sex is forbidden before marriage but the curiosity from one’s mind and the natural urges from one’s body start to develop long before the legal age to get married. Christianity in particular teaches that sex before marriage is a sin and often times indoctrinates this theory into young people’s minds to the point they are afraid to have their natural sexual urges. In her article about waiting for marriage to have sex, Samantha Pugsley points out how hard it can be to switch the mind from years of thinking that sex is frowned upon and even banned, not even to be talked about, to getting married and being encouraged to have sex with your husband/wife. When discussing the psychological ramifications this had on her after getting married she states “It controlled my identity for over a decade, landed me in therapy, and left me a stranger in my own skin. I was so completely ashamed of my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience.” (4) If parents would take the time to talk to their teen about abstinence, reiterating it is best to wait for marriage or the right partner, while still taking the time to talk about the facts and possible consequences of having sex, teenagers will be able to make a fully informed decision, potentially encouraging them further to wait. Some people believe that providing teens with birth control will encourage them to have premarital sex, essentially making it seem like it is perfectly acceptable, but that is not the case.  If a teen feels they are ready to have sex they can become ingenuitive and find ways to obtain birth control without their parents consent or knowledge. Parents can try to prevent teens from getting condoms or the pill but they could easily go to the health department and get it for free. They could also get it from a friend who gets it from their doctor but is willing to sell it to make a profit. In this interactive age teens can get all the information they need to know from the internet but getting the information from a parent or someone they trust goes a long way in helping them make a fully informed decision. Encouraging your teen to stay abstinent and wait to have sex is agreed upon and is not the issue. An issue arises when the teen makes a decision to have unprotected sex because they were never encouraged to protect themselves.

One of the most important roles a parent can play in their child’s life is to be someone they can confide in about any and everything. A child should understand they are loved and will always be loved, regardless of their potential actions. Talking about sex is uncomfortable for both the parent and the child but when done right, its effects can be everlasting. Most parents are not sure how to even start the conversation, let alone have an effective one, but there are ways this can be done. Conversations about love and relationships should start when a child is young so he/she understands there is an open dialogue when it comes to important issues. If questions are asked, simple but correct answers should be given and a child should understand they, and their bodies, deserve to be respected by others. If an open dialogue has been encouraged right from the beginning, a child is more likely to confide in a parent when something important starts to happen. When a child reaches middle school and starts asking more detailed questions, straight-forward answers should be given as they are likely starting to mature and puberty is around the corner. A pre-teen should be encouraged to set goals for their future and informed how having sex could change those goals. By the time a child reaches high school, it should be very clear to them exactly what sex is and how it can affect both their current life and their future. They should have guidance on what it means to be in a healthy and happy relationship and should understand and respect their personal boundaries. At this stage, it is vital a teen understands the various methods of birth control and how to obtain them to reduce their risk of STDs and pregnancy.

Practical sexual education can be taught to teens in a variety of ways but by far the best way is through a discussion with a parent or someone they trust. There are currently organizations and campaigns such as DoSomething.org and AmplifyYourVoice.org dedicated specifically to educating children worldwide on the various contraceptive methods. In Maryland, sexual education is touched on in elementary school which is a fantastic program but it isn’t usually addressed in middle school when children’s bodies are starting to develop and mature. Teens go to high school and take a health class which is informative but by then some teens have already had sex and most have already considered it. It is the responsibility of parents and older individuals to come up with new and different ways to educate teens and children about sex. One way to do this is through advertising because it influences our lives daily via television, commercials, billboards, and the internet. Since this new generation is considerably focused on social media and communicating through the internet, one way to promote safe sex is to partner with various social networks such as Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter to advertise educational materials on sex and birth control. If our nation can come together as a whole to promote safe sex, the risk of STDs and pregnancy could possibly be greatly diminished.

Parents who believe their child will simply abstain from sex because of religious or household repercussions are misguided. “Not my child” is a saying most parents have said, or felt, at one time or another. The fact is teens who want to have sex will do so without their parent’s consent or knowledge. In her article “5 Reasons Teens Need Free Access to Contraception (Just Ask the French)”, Judy Molland confirms “Teens are having sex, regardless of what they are told; indeed thousands of them start having sex every year without asking their parents.” (p. 13) Most teens have an inflated sense of self and focus much of their energies on obtaining what they want in that moment. Parents may try to tell their teen they are not allowed to have sex but in much of the United States, including the state of Maryland, the legal age of consent for sexual contact is 16. This makes abstinence a great idea in theory, but when applied to real life situations, it falls short of being wholly practical. All teens go through puberty and begin to have sexual desires, regardless of their parents encouraging abstinence, not to mention the peer pressure they will face every day from kids at school as well as their significant others. Most people have heard the saying “everyone is doing it, why shouldn’t I?” at some point during their young lives and it’s hard to feel that social pressure and not give into it. At some point your child will be making choices about sex, wouldn’t you rather your teen be thoroughly educated and able to make a smart decision when the time comes? Educating your child properly and practically about safe sex and the various methods of birth control will not only assist them in making good choices, but it will also greatly diminish their chances of getting pregnant in the future.

Providing teens girls with knowledge of and access to birth control will significantly reduce their chances of an unwanted pregnancy. WebMD informs us that statistics show “Women take the pill by mouth to prevent pregnancy and, when taken correctly, it is up to 99.9% effective.” (p. 2) Teens who feel they are unable to talk to their parents about sex and birth control options will often not use any protection at all. Kids Health states that “Approximately 750,000 teens become pregnant every year and most didn't plan on becoming pregnant.” (p. 2) Parents often don’t realize teens have their own means of acquiring birth control without parental consent. There are often low cost and free clinics in most communities dedicated to women’s health. Teens should feel comfortable discussing options with their parent but if they absolutely cannot, they should know that there are other paths if they want to handle it privately. The pregnancy rate among teens is so astronomical that the Office of Adolescent Health informs readers that “almost one in six (17 percent) births to 15- to 19-year-olds were to females who already had one or more babies.” (p. 2) A child having a child is sad and scary but a child having more than one is down-right senseless. If a teen becomes pregnant, she is unable to focus on the things that should be a priority in her life at the time. When she should be getting ready for prom, she may be too big for a dress, when she should be taking the SATs, she may have already dropped out of high school, or when she should be going to football games, she may be forced to be home with a fussy newborn. In recent years, teenage pregnancy has become glamorized by popular television shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. Most teens do not realize that raising a child is a lot harder than it looks on TV. It is the parent’s responsibility to sit down with their teens and make sure they know the realistic potential consequences of having unsafe sex.

Taking the time to talk with your teen about birth control before they start to have sex is vital. A personal example of the importance of easily accessible birth control is my existence. My mother, Debbie, was 13 when she met someone and wanted to start having sex. She went to her mother to talk about sex and gain access to birth control but was told she was too young. While she was still a child to her parents, she had already gone through puberty and was physically able to get pregnant. She chose to have sex anyway and got pregnant at the age of 14. She could have chosen abortion or adoption as options but she knew she made the decision to have sex without protection and subsequently chose to take responsibility for her actions. It is heart wrenching to think of a child having a child, but it could have been avoided had her mother taken the time to talk to her about her options.

Safe sex is promoted in ads across the nation and most local health clinics offer services for free, or at a significantly reduced cost, but very few teens actually seek out these free or reduced services in their communities simply because they aren’t aware they exist. Condoms and birth control help protect teens against STDs. There are many organizations and campaigns devoted to promoting safe sex for teens including DoSomething.org which published an article “11 Facts About Teens and STIs” which states “Young people age 15 to 24 account for 50 percent of all new STIs, although they represent just 25 percent of the sexually experienced population.” (p. 2) The fact that teens are just one quarter of the sexually active population yet are most of the individuals getting STDs is shocking and the only way it will ever change is if they learn to start protecting themselves. Teens that learn to use condoms and birth control correctly have a higher chance of continuing good habits in the future. It is easier to start a good habit than it is to correct a bad one and the consequences of improper or infrequent use could ultimately change their lives forever. The CDC states that, “Consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can reduce (though not eliminate) the risk of STD transmission.” (p. 1) Getting a STD can feel like a life sentence, depending on the type contracted.  Some can be easily treated, though may be costly, and others may stay with you forever. According to the Office of Adolescent Health “four in 10 sexually active teen girls have had an STD that can cause infertility and even death.” (p. 1) The news of a newly contracted STD should be shared with their most recent sexual partners and that could easily ruin a teen’s reputation, but unfortunately not everyone is honest and forthcoming about who they have been with. The simple act of explaining to your teen the importance of condoms and birth control, as well as helping them know how to acquire such things, is very important regardless of their sex. Condoms are generally associated with boys so a lot of girls don’t learn until much later in life that they are equally responsible to provide them. After all, one hastily made decision in the absence of a condom could have life altering effects. Life is hard enough on a teen with the pressure to do well and fit in at school, it would be multiplied with the news of a STD.

Most parents cringe at the thought of their beloved child becoming an adult and having sex, but the hard truth is, it's happening whether they are ready or not. Parents should give their teens the right tools to help them make an educated decision about sex when the time comes because it is better they hear it from someone they trust and can rely on, abstinence only isn't reliable, it reduces the risk of teen pregnancy, and it cuts down on the spread of STDs in our youth. Promoting abstinence is enthusiastically encouraged and should always be the forefront of a conversation about sex; however, teens should also be informed of the options they have to protect themselves. Teens should absolutely wait to have sex until they are older, more mature, and in a committed relationship but if they do decide to make that decision, it is best they understand sex fully and are armed with the necessary protection against STDs and pregnancy. Think about the age you were when you first started having sex. Were you prepared for all it entailed? A little practical and realistic information goes a long way.


 

 

Works Cited

“About Birth Control.” Kids Health. Nemours, n.d. Web. 24 Nov. 2014

“Birth Control Pills - Types, Effectiveness, and Side Effects of Birth Control Pills.” WebMD. WebMD, 24 Feb. 2014. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.

“Condoms and STDS: Fact Sheet for Public Health Personnel.” Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 19 Mar. 2014. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.

“Did You Know?” US Department of Health and Human Services. US Department of Health and Human Services, 4 April 2014. Web. 5 Nov. 2014.

“11 Facts About Teens and STIs.” Do Something. Do Something, 5 Mar. 2014. Web. 11 Nov. 2014.

Molland, Judy. “5 Reasons Teens Need Free Access to Contraception (Just Ask the French).” Care 2. Care 2, 30 May 2014. Web. 11 Nov. 2014.

Pugsley, Samantha. “It Happen to Me: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t.” XO Jane. Say Media, n.d. Web. 19 Nov. 2014.

“STD Statistics.” Family First Aid. Troubled Teen Help for Teen Help Programs, n.d. Web. 20 Nov. 2014.

“Trends in Teen Pregnancy and Childbearing.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. US Department of Health and Human Services, 4 April 2014. Web. 5 Nov. 2014.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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